Judging
I don't like gossiping. It's a pastime I've never enjoyed. And people have trusted me with private information for a long time.
Sometimes, like today I find myself trying to make sense of a repeated pattern that I've seen around me.
Different people, different generations, different genders, but ultimately the same pattern of behavior.
And I can't quite get the full picture of the pattern out there, because what I'm seeing is in here too (it'd help you reader to know I'm pointing to the middle of my chest, where the identity and direction are located in the bodygraph.)
So I lay this down here, knowing that there's no need to struggle. The pieces will come together to make sense at the right time. Today I was feeling emotional, wanting to know how to break a vicious pattern I see yet can't be clear on how it flows yet, for when I do, it'll be time to move past it.
Judging myself for not getting things quickly is a habit I'm becoming more aware of through this process. I'm remembering to remind myself that I'm learning to be patient, and the one consistent action I can take is to be fully present to what is happening inside and outside, especially when I don't want to, when it's hard, and when I'd rather not.
Are you trying to break a habit?
Bad habits come and go. I seem to have something under control and then I’m surprised when another one takes its place. I need to remember that there is no perfect person and give myself s break.